Book Review: Spiritual Parenting by Gopika Kapoor

Wow. That was my first reaction after I finished reading this short and sweet book on parenting. The book is a wonderfully simple yet meaningful look at how to enjoy being a parent, bringing up kids with the right values and having fun through it all. I had to know more about the person behind the book and so I decided to interview the author- Gopika Kapoor.

1. What inspired you to write Spiritual Parenting?

I must’ve been about a week pregnant when I started studying the Vedanta under the aegis of the Chinmaya Mission. This opened up a whole new world to me and really changed me as a person. Prior to this, I had had absolutely no interest in spiritual studies at all, and so I really think it was my kids’ presence in my life that subconsciously made me decide to join a study group.

I studied throughout my pregnancy and when my kids were born, I ended up using a lot of what I had learned and applying it to the way I parented my children. And when I mentioned this to someone, they suggested I write a book and that’s how Spiritual Parenting was born.

2. What do you think is the single-most important thing that parents should take away after reading your book?

I think it is most important that we are happy, self-fulfilled individuals who are at peace with ourselves; only then we can be good parents. Today we live in times of tremendous stress and competition, all of which is self-induced, or rather inflicted. Parents who are not self-fulfilled hope to fill the void within themselves by living vicariously through their kids, which only piles up the pressure on them, leading to sometimes deadly consequences. We’ve all read and been saddened by the spate of recent suicides, some by really young kids. So I think as parents we owe it to ourselves to keep ourselves happy and peaceful. I don’t mean indulge in regular shopping sprees (though occasionally it really works!) but more of introspecting and figuring out our own lives and what works for us as individuals. On a personal note, I find that on days when I haven’t spent even ten minutes sitting in silence just watching my breath, I am less patient, more prone to lose my temper and a more cranky mother, as opposed to other days when I can handle tantrums, fights and anything else that comes my way more effectively.

3. How long did it take to write the book and most importantly, how did you manage your time being a mom of twins?

Spiritual Parenting took about a year to write. I would write when the kids were at school and having their afternoon naps. Sometimes, I worked at night once they were asleep, or on weekends when my husband was looking after them. What really helped was following a strict schedule. My kids would leave the house at 8.15am, and by 8.30, coffee cup in hand, I was at the computer. I managed to work two hours straight and by the time they came home, I was ready for them. Then again, once they went to sleep in the afternoon, I would rush to the computer, and by the time they had their evening snack, I was with them again, in time to take them out to play.

I think what helps is how badly you want something. I lived, breathed, ate, drank the book. At times, I would wake up in the night with an idea, write it down on some piece of paper I found, and then unable to sleep, I’d go and work for a bit. I truly believe that this book was meant to happen and I was the conduit through which it was put on paper.

4. Finally, what’s next on the agenda?

Before Spiritual Parenting was published I signed a contract with Hay House for another book on Spiritual Pregnancy, which is complete and is being edited. This has been a fascinating book to write as I’ve done a lot of research on various aspects of pregnancy – rites and rituals surrounding it, birthing practices, the evolution of the woman as a mother. This is a time when a woman is supposed to reach her spiritual peak as she houses a divine soul, and so it’s the perfect time for her to look within. Spiritual Pregnancy is expected to be out later this year.

Currently, I am working on a fun, light-hearted book on how to spiritually go about a wo/man hunt! More on that as it evolves.

About the Book and My Review

 Spiritual Parenting is not like most other parenting books that I’ve read and reviewed. It will not tell you about milestones, immunizations, baby food or tips on dealing with colic. What it will tell you is how to be a happy parent, how to treat each child as unique and most importantly, how to instill in kids the values and beliefs that would make them responsible, compassionate adults.

Gopika has drawn from her own experiences as the mother of twins and her learning from studying the Vedanta and has shared them beautifully. There are chapters on dealing with too much advice, using meditation to feel calm and centered, being positive while disciplining, managing anger, planning fuss-free yet enjoyable birthdays as well as teaching children manners, encouraging them to share and give and be respectful and kind. The chapters are short yet informative, the writing style is personal and warm and reading the book is like talking to a friend about being a parent.

The book is written from a largely Indian perspective and has been released only here. All in all, I really enjoyed reading Spiritual Parenting simply because besides being helpful and practical, it has the warmth and personal touch that makes life as a parent so much easier. Here’s hoping that all of you would enjoy it too!